‘’Life is so unfair”, he said while being lost in distracting thoughts. “How come you suddenly talking about life all so serious,” her mother said teasingly but with a tint of sudden worry. “It’s nothing, I was just, you know, get out of tracks often”, he said with a forced laugh. They had a normal cheerful dinner.
He and his siblings helped their mother with dishes, and he was the last one to leave the kitchen when suddenly her mother said, ‘’I am a mother, love. I can see with more than these two eyes. You all will always be my babies no matter how far you all are or how old you all get, you will always have a hug and listener waiting for you to come to their safe place,” she said whilst stroking her son’s hand.
Years have passed as he recalled this memory upon her mother’s grave, whose gravestone says, a loving mother and wife. ‘’Mum, I have come to you and look at these flowers, these are your favorite ones, right? Mum? Mama speak to me please, please,” as panic rushed back and he felt like he could not breath anymore, his words were not making sense and everything was blur, ‘’ mum, it feels like I might die, to be honest it would be best if I did,…..after a pause followed up by countless hiccups and with blurred vision he finally said, I wish, I could have hugged you and could have told you all the things you deserved to hear. I am a coward, mum, I am coward for not expressing-“ his sentence got interrupted when his vision got clear and in front of his, his mother was smiling and was offering a hug, he thought to himself, if I not run fast enough I might lose her gain, ‘’I am sorry, love, if I kept you waiting. It’s alright, it will be okay.” Said his mother. “I am so sorry mum, I am so sorry for never telling you how much I have loved you, that day I should have told you how much you mean to me and what did I mean by unfair life’, he said. She said reassuring him, it’s okay you can tell me now”. “Life was unfair, when I saw your wrinkles, life was unfair, when I saw you getting tired, life was unfair when I couldn’t do anything for you, anything worthwhile, life is so unfair, it feels I am not enough for your love, life–“, as his chest started hurt again he could speak next words, “You are the most wonderful thing happened to me, being your mother was the best part of my life and you didn’t have to do anything worthwhile to deserve my love, you are enough as I love you for you, not for you accomplishments, or for anything.”
She said with the most beautiful smile he had ever seen. “Promise me, you will not leave me again, mum,” he said while hurryingly grabbing her hand. “When have I ever, love? I am always right here, closest to you, she said while pointing towards his heart. As light around him became dim, so dim that it becomes pitch black. The next thing he saw was a hospital bed, with her mother’s favorite flower by his side table.
“Thank you, mum, for always being there for me”, he said with bittersweet tears.
Life might not be fair, but it can be beautiful, even in sadness it can be beautiful. It’s a heavenly prejudice as said, “what is grief if not love preserving.” – Vision
